The Greatest Workout Ever.

The title of this article might be false. Who am I to say whether one workout is better than another? For all you parents out there, it’s like picking a favorite child. Not possible because they’re all your favorite. (Yea right dad, I know you love Joey Schwegler more than me.)
However, I will now proceed to blow your mind and enlighten you with one of my favorite workouts, and one that you can do anytime, provided you carry dumbbells in your pockets. Now I know there is a raging debate about whether squats are good for you, or bad for you. Some fitness authorities maintain that you only need a steady diet of squats to become the leanest, most sexually powerful version of yourself that you can (See Peary Rader), while some people out there maintain that squats, while you’re not looking, will sneak into your house with a baseball bat, and after destroying your knees and leaving you whimpering on the floor, they’ll laugh in your face and walk out with all of your fine china. (See your pilates teacher)
Unfortunately, the reality is that Peary Rader looked like this:

And your pilates teacher most likely looks like this.

So, with that in mind, let’s get a little more open minded about squatting. On the the workout.
One of the best ways I have ever found to light your metabolism on fire, get shredded, and lose that stubborn tire around your midsection is by doing a complex, or a circuit of exercises without putting the weight down in between exercises. This is especially true when doing complex movements, or exercises that use more than one joint. For example; squats! My favorite variation of squat right now is called the goblet squat. It’s perfect for beginners because it forces you to keep your posture upright and your back straight. One of my favorite coaches, Dan John, has this to say:

Grab a dumbbell or kettlebell and hold it against your chest. With a kettlebell, hold the horns, but with a dumbbell just hold it vertical by the one end, like you’re holding a goblet against your chest. Hence the name, “goblet squats.”

Now with the weight cradled against your chest, squat down with the goal of having your elbows – which are pointed downward because you’re cradling the bell – slide past the inside of your knees. It’s okay to have the elbows push the knees out as you descend.

If you can sit on the toilet, you can do this movement. Now, just for now, just to start do 10 reps of these goblet squats, then instead of resting, press the weights overhead, and hold them there for 30 seconds. When the 30 seconds is up, bring the dumbbell or kettlebell back down to your chest and squat again, 10 reps.
Do this three times, see how you feel at the end. If you feel lightheaded, like throwing up, or like laying on the ground, congratulations, you’re doing it right. If you don’t feel like that, repeat until you do, or grab a heavier dumbbell

Just for the sake of organization, and for those of you who can barely read, but like to entertain yourself by looking at all the neat letters on this page, here’s the condensed version:

Goblet Squat x 10
overhead dumbbell hold x 30 seconds
Goblet Squat x 10
overhead dumbbell hold x 30 seconds
Goblet Squat x 10
overhead dumbbell hold x 30 seconds

Go for it! Let me know how you feel when you’re done.