This just in, hot off the presses! 1 Weird Cleanse Trick really does wonders for you skin, teeth, hair, eyes, bowels, and the ever important joy and merriment of your friends – and you can’t put a price on that.
This cleanse is so powerful that often times you’ll need an assistant or “spotter” to get the most of the cleansing process.
To get the full effect of this cleanse on your chi and masculine power energy, begin by removing your pants.
For a beginner, you’ll want to grab just 1 Mento, and then gingerly place it within your rectal cavity.
It can be difficult, but remember, this is a cleansing process, and everything good in life hurts your butt just a little bit. Write that down.
Now have your assistant tenderly apply as much of a 2 liter bottle of diet coke as possible in, on, and around your anus. I say “as much as possible” due to the fact that once the “Cleanse” begins, the shit hits the fan, figuratively. But also literally in this case.
The reason this cleanse is so powerful is due to the thousands of tiny “cleanse bubbles” that are scouring your bowels, small intestine, and lower dorsimus in order to remove potentially harmful chemicals, toxins, and Monsanto Micro-Robots, that are designed to control your thoughts and behavior.
And guys, remember that you can trust me for 2 reasons:
- I’m a “health coach”
- I’m publishing this on the internet.
Please post your incredible transformations below!
Cleanse Trick Notes – PLEASE READ
Please don’t actually do this. I am not a doctor, nor am I in any way affiliated with any doctoring science.
If you decide to put a Mento and Diet Coke in your ass in a misguided attempt to cleanse, detox, or in any other way remove toxins from your body, I cannot and will not be held responsible, since that is a DUMB idea.
Besides the fact that Mentos and Diet Coke as an enema would be hilarious for your friends but also most likely kill you, cleanses in general are unnecessary and the only thing they actually detox is money from your wallet.
The body has a natural “detox” process called Autophagy where it removes broken and damaged cells and replaces them with healthy new ones! This is why you basically get a brand new body every 7 years!
Don’t be fooled by supplement salespeople calling themselves “Health Coaches” and trying to sell you expensive cleanses, fat burners, and other bottles of “proprietary blends” that they can’t tell you specifically what they do. There’s a lot of hucksters and shills out there people, be careful and do your research, and remember, if it sounds too good to be true, it usually is.