LOSE 10 LBS IN 30 SECONDS

The International Center for Data Research teamed up with allegedly Dutch corporation ‘The Science’™ in order to create a weight loss plan around three specific principles:

1) Simplicity – Should not require any additional supplements or equipment.

2) Ease – Should require less than a minute to complete

3) Benefit – Should have immediate reward for the party partaking.

After nine days of what can only be described as an “amphetamine fueled transcendental nightmare”, 5 of the original 8 scientists emerged from their lab to report their results, which are summarized below:

“STAND THE F*CK UP STRAIGHT.”

-The Science™

 

Seriously? Do you not respect yourself enough to pull your shoulders blades back and keep your head up?

This does wonders for your physique and your performance, with the added benefit of making you look less like an elderly Japanese woman or a Disney villain.

By pulling your shoulder blades back, tucking your hips directly underneath your shoulders and reaching the crown of your head toward the ceiling, you’ll spare your spine, keep your low back pain free, and look like someone that the opposite sex wouldn’t mind talking too.

Sunday mullet not included.

Sunday mullet not included.

(Note the “feminist Ryan Gosling” book behind my shoulder. It’s cause I know how to treat a lady right.)

 

In addition to being infinitely more handsome, having better posture is linked to higher testosterone, which means better salary, more hair, and always being picked first for Rec League Softball.

So make sure you get into a good posture when you’re walking around, sitting at a desk, and especially lifting weights.
Nothing is worse than shitty form on squats/deadlifts/presses/isolation curls.

This is an amazing way to guarantee an injury!

 

Don’t be a dummy. Stand up straight or I’ll drown your pets.